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He was ready. He worked hard. He made adjustments to get better. He gained confidence from the support of friends and family. And when it was time to get out and interact with the world in a new way, he ran with it. 

 

Literally.

 

It’s 1995, and the boy began jogging. Actually, the Superhero led the boy to jogging so that he could perform his best at his weekly touch football games. So the boy ran, and in time, he began to enjoy it. He liked getting away from the world and being alone with his thoughts. Burning anxiety. Staying in shape. Those early morning runs turned into 5k’s, which led to 10k’s, and even half marathons. All in all, it became an uplifting experience for the boy. 

 

If only there was a way for him to see that he was doing it all wrong. 

 

Enter Coach Leach. He showed him the beauty in running. The mechanics to train smarter. Heart rate monitors. Hydration. Circuit runs. Correcting strides. Overnight, running became training. Training led to PR’s and even more enjoyment. In time, friends joined in on the fun, and the races became less about his PR’s, and more about helping them achieve theirs.

 

Wait a second. When this did this story become about running? Well, it is about running. And it’s not about running.

 

As we know, many years later, when the wrong parts of the Superhero were directing his path, grief overtook the boy. And there was no running away from this pain. The boy needed to calm his thoughts, so he downloaded a meditation app and learned about mindfulness. But what good is practicing to stay in the moment if you can't stay in the moment when it matters. Like, in the checkout line, as the people in front of you won’t accept the fact that the Cheerios aren't on sale anymore. And you begin to lose your mind. Or in the moments of silence when the tears wouldn’t stop flowing, and he didn’t know why. 

 

This time he could see that he was doing it all wrong. 

 

Enter Seth Allison. He was the therapist who helped the boy make sense of his narrative. He gave him the confidence to be vulnerable. And then made him feel vulnerable when he got too confident. 

 

Seth introduced the boy to his personality. He learned that at his best he could be self-accepting and authentic. But at his worst, he could be exploitative and would do whatever it took to preserve the illusion of his superiority. He found that he didn’t need everyone to like him, but he did need everyone to admire him.  And failure? That was never an option. Neither was looking unprepared or asking for help. 

 

So just like all those years ago when he learned how to run properly, the boy and his coach started down a new path. He began to recognize when he was looking for admiration, but instead of fighting it or being ashamed by it, he accepted it and learned to laugh. He also began to be at ease with struggling in front of others, even admitting when he had no idea what he was doing. He was learning to accept who he was, and even better, let others accept who he was instead of the image he worked so hard to create.

 

Seth also helped the boy understand the beauty of the word “and" when the boy’s life was all about “or.” You’re either good or bad. Fast or slow. With us or against us. For the boy, that meant that he was either loving or self centered. But in time, Seth taught him that he could be both loving and self centered. Empathetic and distant. He learned to take the good behaviors and use them to help minimize the bad ones. And just like that, he was off and running again. 

 

Time to rewind, this time to 2008. The Superhero is leading the boy in Madison to attempt his first marathon. The boy spent months preparing, even checking in with Coach Leach to get advice. He felt good during the run, until the moment when he didn't. His calves began cramping, and it felt like he was being stabbed by a bunch of tiny little knives. He wasn’t prepared for that. In fact, no one even warned him about it. It just happened. 

 

The summer of 2019 turned into the beginning of the school year.  The boy felt a different energy and was determined to lead this class with love. To share and give more of himself with his students. After a few weeks together, he noticed many of the students struggled with anxiety. He saw an opportunity to connect in a new way. And he did. The students listened to his struggles, and they began to share their own. He openly talked about his therapy and suggested that they began sharing their thoughts and feelings too. If not with their parents, then with someone they could trust. And just like running a marathon, this new open road felt good. Until the moment when it didn’t.

 

Wait a second, it actually always did feel good connecting with the students. The problem was with their parents. Many were not prepared to help their children. Others just didn’t believe in what he was saying. So little by little, they went on the offensive, questioning what they thought was important, like why he favored some students, and why his discussions were too political. Anything they could to avoid the conversation of anxiety. And just like the calf cramps in the marathon, he wasn’t prepared for that.

 

But that’s the point the boy learned in year one. Even when things are going good, he was going to encounter situations that he's wasn't prepared for. And no matter how much training or therapy that he did, he had no idea how he was going to react until it happened. But if he could stay true to that training and therapy, then everything would work out the way it was supposed to. Maybe not the way he wanted it to, but the way it was supposed to.

 

So how did that marathon end? The boy stayed faithful to his training and listened to his body. When he cramped up, he stretched his calves. He took shorter strides up hills. And he finished. It remains the best marathon time that he’s ever run. 

 

And how did that school year finish? The boy stayed faithful to his therapy. He listened to the parents, and on the surface, addressed their concerns. But he didn’t back away from helping his students with their anxiety. He watched some parents understand his message and help their children. And he saw some parents who didn’t. And in the end, that’s all he could hope for. All in all, it wasn’t his best year as a teacher, but it was a good one.